Why? Why must I?

I am so fed up with people saying I must do this … or that … or the other …

Why must I carry on? Why must I fight illness? Why must I fight depression? Who actually cares – because if they actually cared they would be here holding my hand through the horrors of the treatments they want to put me through. They would be here to give me a reason not to take those pills? They would be here when life is so bad that the thought of another day, another night, another hour is just too much.

What good is a walk down the street going to do? STOP patronising me and telling me it will make me feel better because it doesn’t.

What good is a distraction technique? I am too distracted to focus on a distraction technique and at the end of the day the suggestions are more patronisation.

What good is meeting someone for coffee? or dinner? meeting people?

When will someone actually suggest something that helps?

When you tell me what the point is in doing any of these things, then I will think about doing them but until then – shove your theory when the sun doesn’t shine. In one year I have done everything suggested to make it better – it hasn’t worked. It failed. You failed. I feel the same.

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